Surprises
by Mrs. Killian Jones pureblood
Summary: "I don't like surprises." "Come now, love. Everyone loves a good-" "I. Don't. Like. Surprises." "I hear you, love. Loud and clear. Jokes good. Surprises bad." "What did you say?" "Jokes also bad." "That's what I thought." OR, how Emma Swan hates surprises, and all Killian Jones can do is continue surprising her in the best way possible.


_"Surprises, like misfortune, seldom come alone." ~Charles __Dickinson._

* * *

Chapter One: Surprise: In Which Killian Attempts to Surprise.

"What do you _MEAN _it's ON YOUR SHIP?"

"My lady, if you cannot understand what I mean after I have said it so plainly, I do not think I can help you."

"You know what else isn't helping? You being an idiot! Get out!" A thrown shoe, vase, lamp, and knife later, a retreating, leather-clad back slams a door, sighing with relief before darting out into the night.

Killian Jones had never seen the brunette queen as royally pissed -pun intended, thank you. Killian Jones is a clever man.- as she had been when he gave her the news.

"_Well, of course you have my permission, Killian! I'll just go grab it for you, and-"_

_His eyes widened, suddenly remembering something, and he curses loudly. "That might be a problem, milady."_

"_I-I am not seeing a problem here?"_

"_It's not…where you think it is."_

_The blue-green eyes slanted, suddenly far less warm than Killian would have liked._

"_Well, you see, Your Highness, I maybe...took it?"_

_A perfectly pixie-like jaw dropped, forming a little 'o'. "H-how?!" _

_He held up his gleaming silver appendage weakly. "Pirate?"_

"_Well, PIRATE, where is it now?"_

_Silence._

"_Killian."_

_Nothing._

"_Hook."_

_Crickets sang to the lovely queen. Her eyes narrowed further. "Captain Killian 'Hook' Jones, ex-lieutenant of the Royal Navy, pirate-turned-hero: WHERE IS IT?!"_

"_...My ship?..."_

The bloody queen of the bloody Enchanted Forest had just thrown a knife at his head. She would have hit it too, if it hadn't been for the door.

Killian Jones loves doors.

"Killian!"

He sighs. Speaking of love…

He turns, smirk in place. "Hello, love. You look ravishing."

Emma Swan smiles, before furrowing her brow and squinting. "What's wrong with your face?"

He blanches. "Excuse me? Nothing is wrong with my face! It's near perfect, in fact, it probably IS, what-"

"You have a bruise on your forehead."

THAT CURSED LAMP.

He shrugs nonchalantly. "I dunno. Must have ran into something."

Emma grunts, her eyes narrowing.

Stupid lie-detector.

"So, HOOK-" oops - "what was so important that I had to come down RIGHT NOW?"

"My name is-"

"Hook."

"...Hook." He sighs, upset, but to afraid of his lovely Swan's wrath to push the issue. "My name is Hook."

"What was so important?! I just really want some hot chocolate, so if you don't tell me exactly what is going on in the next three seconds, I am going to-"

"HOOK! MATE! HOOOOOOOOOOOK!"

A fair head cranes to see around the dark one, which snaps behind to see his mate David Nolan, Prince Charming of the Enchanted Forest, and Royal Pain in the Buttocks running towards him full speed, not even noticing Emma behind Hook's dark mass.

"SNOW JUST TOLD ME YOU WERE LOOKING FOR THE RING, I SWEAR, IF YOU ARE DOING WHAT I THINK YOU ARE DOING WITHOUT MY PERMISSION, I'M GONNA-"

"WHAT?!"

The blonde man, skids to a stop at Killian's side, just a moment too late to stop Emma from exclaiming.

Killian Jones, lieutenant-turned-pirate-turned-hero turns towards his love, and says, "Surprise?"

Chapter Two: The Freaking Ring: In Which Emma Swan Hates Surprises.

"Surprise? SURPRISE?! WHAT THE HECK, KILLIAN?!"

"No surprise?"

"I'm just gonna go…"

"Don't move an inch David, I told you not to go after him, I still have a few knives left!"

"Mom?!"

"Stand in front of your father and I, love, just for a moment, yes, that's right, just a little to the left. Wait. No! What are you-"

"Emma! I know your mother is very persuasive, but you can't take that knife from her!"

"Use it wisely."

"I will, Mom. I know EXACTLY what I'm gonna do with this knife."

Emma Swan spins around to face the two men, both of whom visibly and audibly gulp. "David?"

"Call me Da-"

"David."

"David. Call me David. Yes, Emma? Dearest daughter?"

"Go away."

"Yes."

"Not with me."

"Yes, Snow." Cough. "LEROY!"

"Mom?"

"I'm already gone."

"Killian?"

"My name is Hook."

"Don't try to be funny."

"I'm sorry."

"For what, exactly."

"Being funny. Or, rather, NOT funny, I suppose."

"Lying?"

"Yes, that too."

"Trying to keep secrets from me?"

"Not particularly. I wanted to surprise you."

"I don't like surprises."

"Come now, love. Everyone loves a good-"

"I. Don't. Like. Surprises."

"I hear you, love. Loud and clear. Jokes good. Surprises bad."

"What did you say?"

"Jokes also bad."

"That's what I thought."

"What was going to happen tonight? EXACTLY."

A deep breath, let out slowly. "I was to take you to a romantic and admittedly very probably bland dinner at Granny's, where a lovely Mariachi band was to serenade us, then take you down to the clock, where you would find a large crowd gathered around an even larger banner hanging under the clock, asking for your hand. Then you would turn, teary-eyed, towards the dashing rapscallion beside you, who would be on his knee with a ring and a becoming smirk. Then we would get married and have a lot of babies whom we would dress as pirates every Halloweenie."

"Halloween."

"Halloween."

"Why did it not happen?" She growls.

He mumbles something inaudible.

"Pardon, what?"

"I...stolethereing."

"...What?"

"BeforeNeverland."

"What are you even-"

"Itwaspretty."

"KILLIAN."

"I left the ring on the Jolly!"

Emma grabs his hand, and drags him down to the docks. "Where are we going, love?"

"To get my freaking happily ever after."

"Wha-"

"I'M GETTING MY FREAKING RING, KILLIAN."

"Right." A brief pause. "...Boat…?"

Shoving her purse at him, she pulls out a hat.

"Er…"

She throws it to the ground where it begins to spin. "One thing that makes sense, Jefferson."

"Portal!"

She looks at him. "Duh." Looking back down, she mutters, "I hate the Forest," before jumping in, but not before grabbing Killian's hand and dragging him down with her.

Right before the uncomfortable sensation of blacking out hits them, Killian Jones can hear Emma yell something along the lines of, "THIS IS MY HAPPILY EVER AFTER, DANGIT. I AM GONNA GET THE FREAKING RING."

Chapter Three: What?! In Which Emma Is Surprised.

"Really?!" Grunt. "You give your ship up for me?!" Grunt. "I mean, SURE-" grunt "it's a nice gesture and all- BACK OFF YOU SLIMY HAIRBALL, I WILL SHANK YOU- but you gave it to THIS guy? WHAT DID I JUST SAY, MORON? You couldn't give it to some nice little fisher man? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

"A nice little fisher man- BEHIND YOU- would not have had a- FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, BEHIND YOU HAS NEVER MEANT TO YOUR LEFT- magical bean!"

"That" grunt "may be so, but a fisherman wouldn't TRY TO KILL US. IT ISN'T WORKING, BY THE WAY! WE'RE STILL ALIVE, GREASE BEARD."

"Swaaaaaaan…"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"

"DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?! TOO MUCH STENCH CAN DO THAT! HAH!"

"MY EARS CANNOT SMELL!"

"WHATEVER."

Emma closes her eyes, and Killian quickly covers her back, which is quite unneeded, as everyone is passed out on deck, courtesy to the dueling duo, save one, who had ran into the mast, and knocked himself out.

A sudden, bright white light floods the ship, the sea, the land, the world, the universe. Killian closes his eyes, grasping Emma's hand, and pocketing a rock he found on the floor boards, squeezing both for reassurance.

When he opens his eyes, he and Swan are standing back on land, and the Jolly Roger is nowhere to be seen.

His eyes widen. "Did you just blow up my ship?"

"I blew up Grease Beard."

"Yes, but did you blow up my ship?"

"Yes, but I blew up Grease Beard."

"Swan!"

"Where is my ring?"

"Where's the ship you just blew up?!"

Her eyes blow up, comically almost. "The ring was still on the boat?"

"IT'S A SHIP!" He gasps, like a fish drowning in air. "Or at least, it USED to be a ship. BEFORE YOU BLEW IT UP!"

"I blew up my ring?"

Killian pinches the bridge of his nose, and gestures wildly with his hook out to the open, empty sea.

Emma looks at him, her big green eyes widening, and her bottom lip sticking out.

"You are acting like a child."

Her lip starts to quiver.

He sighs, and takes her hand, leading her down the beach in silence. Reaching a clear spot, they turn to look at the ocean, churning and rippling, only showing the surface of it's many impossible wonders to the two travelers.

She sniffles, and Killian offers to grab the hat, which she had left a few feet back. She nods, and he leaves.

Moments later, he calls to her softly from behind her. She turns, and he holds out the hat. She stares at it, and gets ready to throw it, when he laughs. She turns, an eyebrow quirked.

"You're getting rusty, my dear."

"What?"

"Your lie detector? I think you broke it."

"What are you talking about Killian?"

Suddenly he's right in front of her, but not at eye level. No. No he's at knee level. Omigosh-he's-at-knee-level.

"I pocketed the stone only moments after arriving."

She stares at him.

"Marry me?"

A sudden yelp, and a blonde catapult later, Killian has his 'yes', and a few (read: a lot) of kisses for the way.

"Were you surprised, love?"

"Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!"

"Did you hate it?" he asks smugly.

"Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!"

"What!?"

"Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes , I will marry you, I love you!"

Killian frowns, and grabs her face, forcing her to focus. "Love! Did I surprise you?"

She nods.

"Did you hate it?"

She stares at her ring, almost absentmindedly. "I want to show my ring to my mother!" she shouts abruptly, and throws the hat to the ground, grabs Killian's hook, and jumps down.

"She's already seen it! It was HERS!"

"DAVID'S YOUR DAD NOW!"

"…..WHAT?!"

Chapter Four: Surprises: In Which Everyone is Surprised and Emma Swan Loves Surprises.

"HOLY- Emma!"

"WHAT?!"

"Breathe, love! No more angry face! Happy! Smile!"

"I AM NOT A CHILD."

"You are angry because I ate the last of the ice cream!"

"IT WAS MY ICE CREAM!"

"JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE PREGNANT-"

"IT DOES MEAN THE ICE CREAM IS MINE! I AM EATING FOR TWO, HERE!"

"EMMA, I AM CALLING ELSA AGAIN."

"NO!"

"AND REGINA!"

"WHYYYYYYY?"

Killian grabs his wife's slightly pudgy face- how he loves that pudge- and forces her to look out the window.

She cringes. "Not my fault."

"Your fault."

"No. I cannot control my magic. Or the baby's. Not my fault."

"You are controlling the weather with you emotions, darling! And you are ANGRY!"

"ONLY BECAUSE YOU ATE MY ICE CREAM!"

"I ATE THE LAST COOKIES, TOO!"

Killian knew he shouldn't have said it the moment it left his mouth. His wife, his very pregnant wife, was extremely….emotional. Over practically NOTHING. ANYTHING. And in Emma's strange, pregnant world, cookies are EVERYTHING.

Her face screws up, her emerald eyes filling with tears. "You...you what?"

"Darling, I am SO-"

The raging waves and winds change suddenly to a pouring rain, the clouds gray and sad.

The door flies open, and an extremely wet blonde with a bag darts in. After slamming the door shut, and a few heavy breaths, Elsa turns to Killian.

"What did you do?"

"Me?!"

"Emma, what's wrong?"

The rain pours harder.

Elsa glares at Killian, who drops his jaw indignantly, before grabbing Emma's hands and saying softly, "Emma, you can't conceal, but you really must control it. Remember? Remember what I taught you? Love thaws! What do you love right now?"

"I think you mean who-" Killian begins, before Emma sniffles out a pitiful, "Ice cream and cookies."

Killian's jaw drops again. "Wha-"

Elsa glares again, before reaching for the bag she brought. "Then it's a good thing I brought ice cream and cookies."

Emma sniffles, and the rain slows down to a pitter-pattering stop.

"Ok, you have GOT to be joking, right now."

Emma smiles contentedly at the ice cream and cookies, and the sun peaks out. Suddenly, her face freezing in shock.

"Emma?"

"Love?"

"Either I just peed myself...or my water just broke."

….

Outside, the storm is raging on. Snow, rain, thunder, lightning, extreme heat, tornados… Emma was feeling something, and Killian was guessing by the screams that it wasn't good.

"One more, Emma! Just one more!" Didn't that doctor, what ever his name is, say that about six minutes ago?! Learn your job!

The storm stops.

A rainbow gleams, and the sun shines softly.

Killian finally just bursts through the door, in time to see a teary-eyed Emma, and a laughing Dolphin. Whale, he corrects himself, squinting at the name card.

"You should have gone for the ultra sound."

Oh, yes. Baby. More important than sea creatures.

"Well," a pleasantly plump nurse says, bringing a blue bundle towards a suddenly smiling Killian. "You have a healthy baby boy."

"And," a different nurse says, smiling wide, "an even healthier baby girl."

Emma laughs at the expression on Killian's face. "Twins?"

"Yes!" The first nurse squeals.

Handing the boy to Emma, and the girl to Killian, the room is emptied besides the new parents.

"Meet Liam and Ruth."

A pause. "Thank you." Another pause. "I like it."

"I thought you might."

After a few minutes of content silence, Killian says, "Well, I guess it's a good thing we have so many clothes for both genders, thanks to your mother."

Emma smiles wider. "Yep."

"Well, love, this was definitely unexpected."

"A surprise?"

"Aye."

Planting a kiss on Emma's sweaty, clammy, glowing head, he says softly, "Were you surprised, love?"

Emma Swan Nolan 'Charming' Jones nods.

"Did you hate it?"

The Swan Princess simply smiles.

Because, whether she says so or not, due to certain circumstances, let it be known that Emma Jones loves surprises.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Wulp. Hullo. I'm back! *banners and confetti. Cake. Confetti cake. Because it's delish.***

**Well, I got a lovely prompt from the lovely undergroundqueen, and thought it's probably not exactly what you had in mind, it just kind of played out this way?... sorry?**

**Anyway, I just totally stayed up till two in the morning because writing gets me pumped up, and one of my fav stories that was one hiatus is BACK because of MY REVIEW, and omsquee I almost cried. So, if you love Harry Potter, and ship Jily (james/lily), the story "Revenge of Sorts" by: JaneGrey9Days is for you.**

**Go.**

**Read it.**

**Love it.**

**My command is your wish.**

**Just kidding. :P**

**Anyhoo, love it? Hate it? Adore it? Despise it? Want to give me lots of money and a one way ticket to where ever Colin is right now? Review! :)**

**Hugs and Kisses and SURPRISE! DID YOU HATE IT?!**

**~Mrs Killian Jones: Pureblood**


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